By Stephanie Clifford-Smith
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Extra info for Kink : a straight girl's investigation
I rummage awkwardly through my bag for my recorder, then decide to keep the bag on my lap, wedged between my body and the steering wheel. Dean tells me he’s bisexual, not gay, and that his first sexual memory was of ‘masturbatin’ at the age of fourteen’. He begins to sound a bit breathless as he describes his first nonconventional sexual experience, with a male masseur when he was twenty-three. ’ He keeps pausing as he speaks, losing track of his sentences as he relishes every detail of the memory.
This topic’s out of bounds, so I remind him about my policy of not discussing myself under any circumstances. ‘I know, you’ve said that. ’ He says it will help him gauge my level of ‘comprehension’. ’ ‘But I’m not talking about knowledge, that’s irrelevant. ’ He asks if I could imagine myself in a relationship with a shoe fetishist, or a man who falls asleep straight after sex, or one that likes to be—literally— walked all over, like Mat. Then he gets to his point. ‘Could you imagine yourself in a relationship with a person like me?
Could you imagine yourself in a relationship with a person like me? Somewhere along the line you must be able to say,“Yes I could” or, “No I couldn’t. ”’ I don’t think that’s fair but I’m not falling into this trap. ’ ‘I know. This is purely outside the research thing … With female domination, it is the romantic ideal pushed to the power of ten. ’ He laughs. ‘Well, I can tell you, not if it was left to me without very strong guidance! The spirit of it is very appealing. ’ The terms of a relationship (and the housework standards) must be worked out early on, and if they’re not met then the woman punishes or humiliates her slave, he says.