By Dennis Rodman
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Additional resources for I Should Be Dead By Now: The Wild Life and Crazy Times of the NBA's Greatest Rebounder of Modern Times
Me, Michael Jordan, and a Cubs player by the name of Ryne Sandberg had a deal with this men’s clothing store, and they painted a huge mural of the three of us on the side of a building just off the freeway near downtown. I was in the middle wearing this suit with no sleeves, arms folded. Every time I would change the color of my hair in real life, they would change the color of my hair on the mural using these big plywood cutouts shaped like my fro. ” The mural became a tourist attraction, people pulling over to the side of this busy highway to take pictures.
People are taking pictures, asking for autographs, this and that. The “Dennis Rodman Total Entertainment Franchise” was now open for business from a gurney in a Las Vegas hospital. When they finally got around to stitching me up—more than 70 stitches—the medical staff was amazed that I wouldn’t let them use Novocain. Not a big deal. For some reason, pain doesn’t really affect me as much as other people. I deal with it in the beginning, and then once my body gets adapted to it, I’m cool. So I was just sitting there casually talking to my assembled fans while they were sewing my “butterflied” shin back together.
So I started her up, did a few lazy figure-eights in this huge parking lot, nice and easy. Around about now was when I should’ve thanked the guy for his trouble, hopped off, and gone about my business. I didn’t do that. I had been awake for like 20 hours, been drinking steady for at least 12, had maybe a half-hour’s sleep, and haven’t had anything much to eat since I left Newport Beach. I was not a guy who should be operating heavy machinery. What’s more I was only days away from my last DUI (that one on water in my boat, Sexual Chocolate), and this was far from my first regrettable rendezvous with a motorcycle.