The Weight of Money

In August, I applied for a local position with an education-based company. The interview process went very well and things sounded good for the most part, until it came to the compensation for the position. Oddly, this process got stretched over several weeks and I eventually ended up with an offer for the position for a little more than the first offer, but still less than what I wanted.

Ever since the interview, I’d begun worrying about various details involved with the position. One attempt to meet both my salary needs and the companies budget resulted in a compromise that didn’t thrill me but seemed acceptable. I tentatively accepted, but more time passed, and their needs changed and my concerns grew. Basically, I knew from the near-beginning that this wasn’t really the position for me. However, it seems that I lost the ability to just say no and move on — needing a job and money will do that to a person.

Finally, today I typed out the final decision – no, I won’t take the job. Wow, why did it have to be so difficult to turn down a job? Why was it so difficult to listen to my conscience and admit that red flags are red flags, no matter how I try to arrange them. I had reservations about my last position and it turned out to be a very unpleasant experience. Thankfully, I listed to myself this time and saved myself weeks of stress from wanting to quit. Of course, that means, I still don’t have a job – but I’m okay with that too.

My professional wardrobe is wearing on me again — this time it’s the shift in temperatures. I bought clothes for the winter season forgetting that what gets cold must get hot again. So, here I’m at wits end with my job, watching the clock tick and the thermostat rise. What am I going to do about it?

I’ve started with summer skirt savings. I have one light-weight skirt that is so terribly comfortable that I could wear it every day — in fact, I’m going to wear it every day. It’s in basic black and nice enough to look professional in the office and casual enough when I ditch the hosiery (sheer knee-highs, baby! I got some sexy granny legs going on!).

This idea is partially inspired by the Little Brown Dress project. I remember stumbling across it several months ago and loved the economical impact of wearing the same thing everyday.

Having worn the same skirt for a couple of weeks now, I’ve decided to apply the same logic to the only cooler weather tops I have; I’ll wear each top twice a week. To better accommodate the ensemble ensemble, I’m switching my work hours to four days a week.

(Okay, so the clothes weren’t the main reason for changing my work hours, but they did factor into the decision.)

My stamina for work is steadily decreasing. The emotional environment is more hostile and negative each week. I’m sure my frustration and negativity is feeding this unhealthy cycle. Every day I’m at the point of walking out and never coming back, every single day! Of course, we don’t close on the house for another month, so I can’t walk just yet. Even though it is just a month, it feel like an eternity of waiting. Of course, I don’t have another job lined up, so what to do, what to do.

I’m picking up some extra sewing, but not sure that I can supplement my income with that alone. I’d have to sew up 10 sets of curtains a week, and I don’t imagine my one client has that much work for me.

I just got a job doing a bunch of ribbon shirts (indian shirts) because my mom was too swamped to do them. This will be about $300, but again, not something that will continue. I’d really need to build up business a bit more to make that happen and I’m not sure I’m at that point yet (in terms of time or networking).

So, I’ve got to pull through this, pull really hard through this and develop a plan.

Tired but Happy wants to know. There are many great responses to her question, go check it out. Instead of commenting, I wanted to take a somewhat deeper look at my job. I’ve mentioned that I’m not happy, but at least I was getting work that was increasing my skill set. Since it has been exactly 3 months since starting my position, I wanted to see where I stand now.

To start with TBH’s question, do I like my job, the answer is a resounding no. In fact, to quote a dissatisfied employee that worked for my mom for only one day, “there’s just nothing about [this] job that I like.”

Some tactics I tried to like my job more:

• develop personal relationships with coworkers: If I can feel some emotional, friendly connection to my peers, then I can feel better about the work I’m doing. However, that attempt failed miserably. I felt like I was really developing a working friendship with a coworker; however, even though she would be friendly at lunch, she’d turn into a bitch in the office. Finally, I decided it was better to have no relationship than a two-sided one.

• attempt to fit in more: I thought that it would be better if I walked the walk in ridiculous uncomfortable clothes and shoes. Since everyone here is all caught up in appearances and being the absolute best at everything, I thought it’d help. No, it just makes me even more bitter. The smiles and semi-friendly interactions I have when I look nice enough make me mentally scream “Screw You!” at everyone.
• rationalize work as work and be happy to go home: I thought this would work, but being happy to go home early each day means that I’m unhappy going to work each day.
• brainwash myself into liking it: chanting “debt free living, debt free living” has raised the risk of irresponsible credit card as personal backlash more than it has made me like my job.

Even though I hate my job, I still feel personal responsibility to manage my feelings ethically. When our new hire asked about the culture, I tactfully responded that it was indeed the fishbowl of expected perfection that my co-worker described. This was indeed true and I shouldn’t assume that anyone else would have a problem with it, I’m the fish out of water here. When my boss asks how things are going, I stutter and paint the picture as truthfully as possible without running screaming from the room. But, since I know I want to leave, I feel the need to let that be known.

I have a meeting set up for later this week and am not sure how to approach it. I wanted to focus on the challenges I’m facing in working with peers, conflicting information, and limited time resources. But, I also want to say “I’m on the wrong bus” and let her know that there is no way this position is going to work for me. Part of me says that I better wait until I’ve another ship to jump to before opening my mouth.

They want me to move to full time later this year and it isn’t going to happen – no amount of money could make that possible, well, maybe there is an amount that could but they ain’t going there. July will be a good transition point, but I refuse to lock myself into a date because I’ll jump ship first chance I can get.

Finally, this situation presents is impacting my emotional stability. I thought that this position would be an acceptable, but it isn’t. And now, just three months after leaving my last position, I can’t help feeling like there is something wrong with me in terms of my ability to work anywhere. It sure feels a little overwhelming when I realize that I’m starting my third job search within the past year. Of course, had I been more honest with how committed I am to my professional values, I would be in this situation. I guess I’m much more committed to living my life intentionally, in all ways, that I realized.

I’m getting swamped at work this week. I’ve got some new stuff to report, but it’ll have to wait until I’ve extinguished a few fires first. Just to avoid a two line entry, I’ve included a mini-rant that makes fire fighting frustrating.

I’ve mentioned working in a corporate office with all sorts of procedures and policies. I hate it with a passion. I can’t stand the thumb-pressing and constant micromanaging that happens in my department. It does nothing but adds more work to my limited schedule and makes me surly. Yes, surly. Since I don’t feel that I’m in a career advancement mode and am merely buying time till we move and I can leave, I don’t feel obligate to hide my frustration with this process. However, that ain’t the best way to work and I’m constantly needing to recheck my reactions, facial expressions, and outcries of disbelief (”what!? that ain’t happening.”). But today, things are just really getting under my skin because this office is full of subtle, passive aggression and constant little stabs at making others look bad. Yeah, it’s a non-profit organization, but one where getting to the top is more important than getting things done. Mini-rant concluded.

While I don’t classify myself as a major environmentalist, I get upset at the over consumption of materials I see every day. It seems that environmental issues have been constantly popping up on my radar and I’m starting to get moved enough to act. My new job in a corporate office brings up an endless number of issues and I wonder what environmental ethics exist in corporate culture.

One of the corporate values that have been communicated through actions is the importance of looking good. This includes physical appearance of staff, neatness of the building, and the visual presentation of materials. Everything circulated within and from the office must have a certain polished appearance.

Right now, I’m stuffing 10 page, full-color, glossy newsletters into crisp, white corporate-labeled envelopes. These newsletters are not getting all dressed up to be sent out to customers; these are internal newsletters written for managers and directors. We’ve printed more than 2,000 copies that will get thumbed through and, maybe, filed away for later reference. The envelopes we’re stuffing them will go directly in the trash upon arrival. Why are we putting them in envelopes?

It seems that the thrifty and environmentally conscious thing to do would be to skip the envelop and just put labels on the newsletter. Or, if envelopes must be used, get some recycled ones and skip on the company letter head. Also, did we really need to publish a full-color newsletter on glossy paper — none of which is recycled? Where is that line where environmental and financial concerns are balanced with the need to add visual pizzazz?

Our office also has a behemoth color printer that is always running. No job is too small or too large for this printer and it is the first choice copier. We also have a great black and white printer that sits motionless next to the color monster. I’ve attended meetings where every piece of paper is color printed, just to throw it out when I get back to my desk. Black and white copies would have gotten the job done just as well and conserved toner and pricier paper.

Finally, my biggest complaint is that we don’t have a recycling program. We have recycling bins in the copy room, but I’ve learned that they just get tossed out with the trash. That color copier produces pounds of waste every day that doesn’t belong in the trash. I’ve recently contacted the local county to explore some business solutions for recycling, and hope to get something started. However, I’ve been warned that it will be a difficult challenge since the office manager has expressed her opposition against recycling (I’m guessing she thinks it’ll make more work for her).

I’m wondering if there is anything I can do to change the “looking good” culture. I know that there is a deeply held belief that the corporate office must be dripping with class, but what about appearing environmentally considerate too? I will start with my department and see what I can do to change some of their habits and go from there. Hopefully, we’ll drop the color staff meeting agendas and lose the envelops for the next outgoing newsletter.

I’ve received three direct compliments and multiple friendly greetings this morning, all because I finally fit in at work. I decided that I’d been putting shopping off for too long and dragged myself to the mall on Saturday. I went with a very clear plan of action and didn’t leave until I’d reached my goals. And now, at work, I’m seeing the clear benefits of all the effort – more respect and friendliness from coworkers.

My shopping plan of action:

1. Take Inventory: Make a list of all the clothes that are suitable for work, and put marks next to the tops that work only under a jacket.
2. Make a List: After reviewing inventory, make note of what is needed. I realized that I mostly only needed tops, some new hosiery, and some jewelry pieces to help tie outfits together.
3. Look Good, Get Comfortable: The most important part of clothes shopping is looking good and being comfortable. I put on a button-up top, a comfortable pair of nice jeans, and slip on shoes.
4. Take Breaks: I had a good breakfast before heading out, but still needed to stop for lunch after a couple of stores.
5. Pick Now, Buy Later: Try on clothes, decide what you want, and hold it for later. This way, you won’t be carrying bags around in the next store and can compare items at another store.

My shopping hit a snag when I failed to follow the last step: pick now, buy later. After spending hours in one store trying on what felt like their entire inventory, I walked to the counter with my selections. I had a $50 store gift card and a $50 generic gift card to use. Since I was focused on finding things I liked, I didn’t bother checking the price tags. I was pretty shocked when the four blouses cost $250 (I charged what was left after using up the gift cards).

Also, on the way out of the store, I stopped at the makeup counter and bought a few more items from my list of needed items.

Tired, but still needing a few more items, I checked out another store and found several tops on sale that would fit in at work. They weren’t as nice as the $80 tops, but they were good enough for work and were $20 each on sale. I picked up the hosiery and jewelry I needed and then headed back to the more expensive store to return to pricey tops.

I would have been fine with the more expensive purchase had I not just scored some tops that would serve the same purpose for much less. However, the return didn’t go as I expected thanks to the fact that I used multiple payment methods. I failed to realize that a partial return would be an equally distributed partial credit on each payment method (store gift card, generic gift card, credit). I’d shopped there to get rid of the $50 gift card and I ended up with $43 store credit (the total return was about $220).

After much discussion with the clerk and then customer service, who suggested too many hoop jumps to get the results I wanted, I gave up. What I should have done was return everything and then use the store credit/store gift card to buy the one top I wanted to keep. Instead, I went to the make up counter, returned the makeup I’d purchased, and then repurchased it with the store credit. It was an odd transaction, “you want to return these items, but then buy them again?”, but it did what I needed — use up the store credit.

Shopping Trip Results: 1 bra, 2 pairs of hose, 2 necklaces, 3 makeup items, 5 blouses. The total was $221.63. However, thanks to a variety of gift cards, I only spent $64.31 out of pocket. Not bad for everything I got.

The best part is that I now fit in with the conservative, corporate dress policy and people are being much friendlier. Of course, part of me wants to flip them off every time they walk by, but I’m pretty sure that would be a waste of the $65 dollars and 7 hours at the mall.

While my boss in on vacation, I get to read her daily copy of the Wall Street Journal. Today, I found an interesting article, Yale on $0 a Day (login required), and started thinking this might be the ticket to furthering my education.

The article talks about colleges like Yale and MIT that are putting their course syllabi, lectures, and and sample tests online. For someone with enough self motivation, it could be the perfect solution to getting the skills and knowledge needed for career advancement.

Obviously, you won’t be getting an actual degree from you ad-hoc home-study course, but you can apply the information to your career and use it to make a difference at work. For example, I’ve found the following courses and MIT’s OpenCourseWare site and will see if they could make a postive contribution to my career.

• Communicating with Data: Communicating With Data has a distinctive structure and content, combining fundamental quantitative techniques of using data to make informed management decisions with illustrations of how real decision makers, even highly trained professionals, fall prey to errors and biases in their understanding. We present the fundamental concepts underlying the quantitative techniques as a way of thinking, not just a way of calculating, in order to enhance decision-making skills. Rather than survey all of the techniques of management science, we stress those fundamental concepts and tools that we believe are most important for the practical analysis of management decisions, presenting the material as much as possible in the context of realistic business situations from a variety of settings. Exercises and examples drawn from marketing, finance, operations management, strategy, and other management functions.
• Applied Statistics: This course is an introduction to applied statistics and data analysis. Topics include collecting and exploring data, basic inference, simple and multiple linear regression, analysis of variance, nonparametric methods, and statistical computing. It is not a course in mathematical statistics, but provides a balance between statistical theory and application. Prerequisites are calculus, probability, and linear algebra.
• Communications for Managers: Writing and speaking skills necessary for a career in management. Students polish communication strategies and methods through discussion of principles, examples, and cases. Several written and oral assignments, most based on material from other subjects and from career development activities. Restricted to first-year Sloan School of Management graduate students.

Dressing for work is costing too much – mostly in terms of time and frustration of knowing I don’t quite “fit in”. While I know I need to go shopping and have reviewed some great comment on the subject, I’m still struggling every morning getting dressed for work.

This morning was no exception. I had planned on wearing a certain outfit that I figured would be suitable for lunch with a coworker. The outfit included a skirt and the dreaded pantyhose (required by office policy).

I bought a pair a couple weeks ago and wore them once. Today, I pulled them on and they’ve already got a run in them – argh!. I know I paid close to $5 for that pair and just one wearing isn’t enough for my frugal expectations.

When I google “frugal pantyhose” I get lots of uses for panty hose – everything except wearing them to work. I’m not looking to store onions or buff my shoes; I want to follow dresscode policy for less than $5/day.

The only suggestions I know are about clear nail polish and careful washing. Handwashing obviously wasn’t enough in this case and an entire bottle of nail polish couldn’t have rescued the panty hose.

So, instead of staying all bent out of shape about the hose, I decided to wear the warm boots all day instead of just to and from the office and snuck in a pair of 50-inch long socks, nice, thick, unprofessional, thigh high socks (thank goodness for long skirts).

However, I need to know what to do about pantyhose. Do I just buy the super cheap brand and pull out a new pair each time or is there a brand or method that will get me a few good wearing out of each pair?

Sometimes you need to vent your concerns and then take a step back. Today was the first day at the new job and it lived up to my worst nightmare. I spent almost an hour contemplating walking out the door and never returning. Then reality slapped me and I realized it was my fault the day wasn’t going well; I set myself up to dislike the job and wasn’t giving it a fair chance, nor was I acknowledging the positive aspects of it.

Right now, I’m delighting in the fact that it took me 13 minutes to get home. I’m home early enough to greet the daughter as she gets home from school and early enough make some yummy pork chops for dinner. Tomorrow, I’ll be prepared for a positive experience and will back off developing too many opinions.

note: Yes, that’s my desk in the photo with the shared office printer sitting on it – that printer has got to go somewhere else.