I need to bring home less, not more
The partner and I are struggling with my near-constant push to leave my job and start a family. The major contention factor: we can’t afford either. I’ve had it with my job and want to leave, but we’ve not closed on the house so I need to wait until then. But what happens after we close on the house?
The partner thinks I need to wait much longer than just another week. At one point in today’s email exchanges, he commented on how we need to bring in as much as we can in the next few weeks and perhaps I should even reduce my 401K contributions. My response: perhaps I should double them instead.
The reality of the situation, to me, is not that we need to make more, it is that we need to function on less. However, as much as I hate it, he is right. I can’t replace my consistent income and we can’t do without it at the moment. But how long will this moment be? Another two weeks? Another four? The entire summer?
I want to run home, this instant, and run the numbers – but I know what they’ll say – tough it out for another day.
Kim
June 4th, 2007 08:44
You can live on one income. If you decide that it is the highest priority then you can do it. Analize everything. Do you need 2 cars if you are home? Is home too expensive? Can you move to make things more affordable? Do you need cable? Can you use the internet at the library? Can you take in more sewing from home? Can you provide daycare for another family? I think that your doubling 401K thought was on the right track. Could you put that money into a high interest savings account as a cushion for your first few months at home instead? You can do it!
Donna Jean
June 4th, 2007 09:30
Hi Kim, thanks for the response. I’ve run the numbers and we’re not to the point of living on just one income yet. We don’t spend money on anything extras that can be cut out – I’ve already sliced away everything there was to slice and we don’t indulge in much.
But, I’m going to make it work somehow, as soon as those papers are signed and we’ve got a house to our name. Of course, dropping a job as soon as grabbing a house doesn’t make any sense at all – but oh well, I’ll make it work somehow.
jonny
June 4th, 2007 09:36
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how you can be in the process of buying a home with 100% financing and still be talking about quiting your job. How are you going to “function on less,” when you are assuming more debt, and potential debt (as an owner of an older house, I can tell you that you can never underestimate the cost of doing anything to the house…and that’s for the forseen issues).
Reading your blog, its pretty clear that you and “the partner” are not on the same financial wavelength…I don’t see things getting better when the finances get worse.
If your budget is already bare bones, then you need to suck it up and keep working.
FourPillars
June 4th, 2007 10:29
I agree with Jonny, you just can’t buy a house based on earning two incomes and then remove of those incomes.
My wife & I did something similiar – we bought a rather pricey house, then had a kid and she won’t be going back to work for a while. I can tell you I’m not pleased about it at all, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Our financial situation is far better than yours and it still caused us a lot of stress to only have one income when we were used to having two.
Donna Jean
June 4th, 2007 13:38
Perhaps I should have made one clarification in this post — this is about leaving this job, not abandoning income earning altogether. Ideally I would have lined up another guaranteed income stream (ie, another standard job) before jumping ship – but that just isn’t going to happen.
The partner and I talked about this more this weekend and I have his support for leaving at the end of the week. He knows that I’ll find a way to fill the income gap this will create and that I am capable of making it work.
Yes, it’ll add some stress to an already not-so-relaxed moment, but it is probably more of an exchange one stress for another. Plus, reducing my emotional stress usually has very positive impact on our overall finances in general (thats another post in itself).
I ran the numbers — these are honest numbers, worst-worst case scenario numbers (with realistic old home repairs costs) not ideal situation ones — and know that we’ll make this work.
Thankfully, I have enough sewing customers lined up to make up for June and July and hope to supplement that income with other non-standard jobs in the meantime.
I realize my post made it seem like I was giving up work altogether, my apologies.
Kim
June 5th, 2007 08:17
I don’t know if this would work for you, but have you considered working an opposite shift than your spouse? Avioding the cost of daycare can really make a big difference in the types and amount of employment available.
Reality Check - What the Numbers Say » The Weight of Money
September 12th, 2007 13:29
[...] Back in June, I discussed quitting my job, a difficult and unpopular idea for most readers. The idea of signing on a house on day and leaving your job the next isn’t all that logical. But, for mostly emotional health reasons, I made that leap with personal faith that I’d figure out how to make it work. Now it’s time to face the reality of how I’m making it work, or not. [...]