The Weight of Money

I’ve added up everything I’ve spent on the wedding so far — $952.47. We agreed to spend $2,000, but I am pretty sure that we excluded the price of invitations and maybe even my dress.

The invitations have cost — $250.
This included a lot of prototyping and some generous purchases because of my fascination with crafting supplies. I know that we are excluding this from the wedding budget.

The dress has cost — $234.20
I’m pretty surprised about this being so high. It really is all the little things adding up. I’ve bought a lot of fabric that I won’t need due to the style of my dress. This also doesn’t include the money my mom spent on the dress. Due to the many uses I’ll have for the left over fabrics, this is also excluded from the wedding budget total. It is really just an elaborate costume that I’ve wanted to make for years — the wedding was just a good excuse to finally make it.

The two other big ticket items are the rental of chairs ($176) and the food ($170). I’m happy with the rental fee because we were originally looking at renting a tent which would have placed our rental fee closer to $1000. Being able to borrow shelters from friends is saving us a lot. The food is obviously going to be a high line item than what is listed right now. However, I had to pull out cash today to get the marriage license (despite being told on the phone that they take credit) and will apply the leftover cash to the food purchase since most farmers markets don’t take credit.

So, eliminating the dress and invitations from the budget, I’m at $468.27. Not bad.

Other costs that have been paid by the partner:
$300 site rental
$160 portajon rental — ouch!
$275 officiant gratuity — wow!
$200 groom’s attire

This was very informative to help me keep and eye on the ball. It looks like we just might meet the $2,000 limit pretty close (excluding invitations and dress) and hopefully stay within a few hundred dollars of it. I will be spending most of the remaining funds from the budget, since the partner has mostly be in charge of pre-established purchases and I’m actually hitting up the stores for the things we need. Having $500 of wiggle room, plus the $170 I’ve not actually spent on food yet, and it looks like we’re good to go. Yay!

So, our house buying adventure isn’t going smoothly any more. I find it rather amusing since earlier this week I’d told the partner that I don’t want the house — more on that in a bit. However, they sellers have been majorly dragging feet on the amended contract that includes the details that we’re going to do repairs prior to purchase so we can get the house. We’ve been pestering them and getting no where. Yesterday, our agent finally gets theirs and is told that they have had interest from another buyer. The house has been on the market as available this whole time — argh! So basically, our agent is pretty certain that they are just stringing us along hoping something better will show up. However, closing is only two weeks away since the extended closing date is in the amended contract that hasn’t been signed and there is no way we can meet it since no repairs have been done. This really pisses me off, but–

Like I said, earlier this week I really wanted to walk away from the house. As I think more and more about all the repairs needed now and learn more and more about repairs and restoration and renovation of old houses, I’m certain that this is going to be a much bigger headache that I originally planned. Yes — now is certainly a bit late to think this, but that is irrelevant. I would not walk out on our contract just because I changed my mind — that is wrong. But, if we were given an out, like the one that has presented itself, I would want to take it.

No, I wouldn’t hate it if we got the house — I do like the house a lot and have gotten very committed to the house. But, when I consider the negative impact it will have on our budget, the fact that we’ll have almost no equity in the house for several years due to the creative mortgaging needed to get it (35-year fixed rate, first 5 years interest), and the expenses bound to show up once we are living in the house and see things that must be fixed and how one things always leads to another in old houses.

Also, this is not a dream house for us. In fact, it is just a place holder for needing to move again in a few years. I’ve had lots of dreams of fixing the place up to how we would like it — but what is the point when it still won’t be what we need? Plus, we won’t really have the money to fix it up any more than to just be able to live in it. Then, when it comes time to sell it, it’ll still have all the limitations it does now and probably be just as hard for us to sell as it has been for the current owners.

So, I’m trying to sell the partner on just renting for another year somewhere — finding an affordable place in this area is almost impossible — would give us enough time to get all our ducks in a row to buy a house that we really want. I know that I can build a savings plan and a budget that will get us out of all credit card debt and build up house savings within 1.5 years. I don’t think the partner believes this, but since I saw myself save over $5,000 in less than six months I know that I can make it happen. Plus, in a year or so, I’ll have a job too and that will add a lot of help in being able to buy something we want to live in for a while.

So, I’m annoyed about the house things but I am hoping that the people bow out and we can either start looking at other houses — a possibility if the price/space is right — or get on with finding a place to rent for a while.

When we move, I’ll be back in the position of not owning a television. I’ve spent years and years without a tv and have usually just ended up living with someone who had one. Happily, the partner does not own one either and we’ll move away from housemates who own several.

He suggested that maybe we just get one from a friend who is offering one for free, but I said no. Instead, I want to buy a flat panel television (I’m a bit obsessed with flat panel everything — monitors too) and he balked at the idea. “But those are too expensive.” Exactly, this is all about waiting until we feel it is worth that much money to get a television. I personally feel no real rush to head out and buy a new tv, not when the house will need a lot of other more essential things.

However, will this actually cost us more in the long run — owning no television at all?

– I have a netflix account that I love for the independent films and things I’d never rent from a store — we’ll lose that cost but also that form of entertainment. Instead of waiting for a movie on netflix, will we head to the theaters, spend about $21 on tickets and $10-15 on popcorn and soda each time? That cancels out the savings from dropping netflix.

– Will we then increase our hobbies since we’ll not be wasting any time watching the tele? Probably not, we only watch an occasional movie before bed as it is. However, maybe it will even save us when I stop watching the crafting shows and start up new projects because of them.

– Will we spend more on magazine subscriptions and books? I get all my books from the library but haven’t taken advantage of their magazines. I like having something light and simple to read for a few minutes. Most of our magazine/book interests are not readily available at libraries though.

– Will we lost out on easy entertainment with friends by inviting them over for snacks and a movie? This is not something we do now but know we would do once we had our own place. Instead of snacks and movie, we’d prolly switch to a meal and wine which may add up to much more. But then again, I love cooking and wine and maybe that is just the cost of enjoying life.

Overall, it looks like not owning a television isn’t going to affect our budget too much. It may cause us to go to the picture show but that is something that we occasionally do now for entertainment when we want to get out of the house and away from the housemates. Spending the money on a flat panel doesn’t sounds like a good way to spend money, but maybe it would allow us to watch films more often in a more comfortable positions (versus lying on the bed watching the tiny screen as we do now with a borrowed tv). I probably won’t drop my netflix because I really like that form of entertainment, and I’ve lived happily with nextflix and laptop and no television before.

My honey is a metal worker, loves to make parts and bits from raw chunks of metal. Mostly it works out to new tool bits or something that the store either doesn’t have or he just doesn’t want to go and buy. We agreed pretty early that he’d make the wedding rings on the lathe. Last night he made a test ring and it turned out great.

To buy materials for the rings, he bought three nutes. Two were of a pretty high density metal and one was made of titanium. The plan was to have titanium wedding rings. We were talking about the precision needed to get two rings out of one nut and the risk of messing it up and not being able to do it. I laughed and asked why he didn’t just buy two titanium bolts. The response? “This nut cost fourteen dollar.” I love it. I responded that we could be buying premade rings and be paying $1400 or something ridiculous. I think with the other two nuts, the total cost for all three was about $34 or so. And I do understand that when you’re just buying a few nuts, that does sound ridiculous. However, when you’re making wedding rings, it feels a bit silly to worry about buying two high priced nuts.

Oh yeah, for clarity sake, I love the rings and the fact that we’ll have two wedding rings for $14 ($34 when you include the test materials). This is not so much about frugality, we’d spend more if either of us had an interest in “traditional” rings, but about getting what we want and seeing how it doesn’t have to cost a lot.

So, my partner and I do not currently have combined finances. In two weeks we’ll be married and it will be time to combine money — how strange it feels that we’re waiting until that point in time to do this. Anyways, what we need to do is get a joint checking and joint savings account.

Now, I’ve not bothered looking for a checking account in quite a while. We do both have accounts at the same credit union and I’m used to their online access. So, maybe we’ll go with them — but I’m not feeling it just yet. He has an account at another bank that seems like a lot of fees and effort and so I think we’ll skip out on them. Oh sigh, I don’t even know what to look for in a bank these days.

My spending habits — everything is spent on the debt/credit card. I write about 6 checks a year. I prefer to complete deposits in person. I hit the ATM about 4 times a year, I never take out cash. I do a lot of online banking and must have access to my accounts online. I don’t keep large balances in my checking account.

His spending habits — everything is spent through cash. He writes several checks a month, no online banking. He hits the ATM frequently the replenish the cash in his wallet. He has never had or wanted online banking. He keeps some in his checking account, though not a great amount.

What I want for checking — no fees. I hate fees! No fees for ATM withdrawals. No fees for electronic access or online banking. No fees for maintenance. I want a free box of checks a year, what I get with my credit union now, not necessary though. Easy bank access and no fees for talking to a person (I couldn’t believe some places charge for that). Easy access to ATMS, I refuse to pay ATM fees so I will only use my bank’s ATM to prevent all fees.

For savings — we’ll prolly stick with the online savings for the most part since their rates are the highest right now. Plus, we’ll both have individual savings, though I think I’m the only one with savings right now, in case of emergencies. Maybe we’ll get an HSBC account since they keep kicking up their rates, but I’m keeping my ING accounts because I just like them.

This “simple” wedding seems to be trying to take on a life of it’s own — without my permission. Our invitations listed an invitation for to a “summer picnic celebration” because that was the primary goal with a wedding secondary. As we’re reaching the final two weeks of preparations — and honestly some of the only preparations — the wedding seems to be attempting to take center stage.

The reason I didn’t want a wedding focused day is because I’m not fond of all the traditional ceremonial and custom activities that happen at weddings. I didn’t want this to be one of those days. Yet, suddenly I was trying to come up with wedding decorations, wedding favors (gack — I really dislike useless trinkets that just bring clutter to people’s lives), and fancy flower arrangements. What happened to my summer picnic?

So, I’ve kicked myself and am moving back to the basics. Of course, this is after spending a bit on wedding decoration supplies. Honestly, though, many of the decoration supplies I purchased were long desired items for later crafting that I justified irresponsibly. Oh well, spilt milk. So, back to basics:

For the ceremony, we need a Joe Shmoe, something to wear (maybe I’ll actually finish my dress), rings (if chris finishes making them), and a few words to say.

For the picnic, we need basic food stuffs, somewhere for people to sit, tables to set food and plates on, and some casual entertainment for the kids.

What we don’t need: petty favors just because some people will expect them, elaborate table decorations (the orchard setting should be enough), food to excess, excess games and activities beyond what we already own, extensive shelter decorations (maybe just enough to add some visual softness).

I’m going to get better at making sure we bring what we already own and don’t spend money on extras just because we’re worried that we’re not doing enough for people. I want to constantly remind myself that this is an outdoor picnic, not some ridiculous gala affair and that it is my gift to make the food and the space inviting but not over the top.

The food palate is also getting a slight overhaul. I had some things in mind that sounded simple and affordable at the time, but it looks like I’ll need to switch to something 1. easier for us to make and 2. a little more cost effective. Our $2,000 cap on the wedding budget is getting a little too close for comfort and I want to be sure that I don’t try to outdo myself in terms of money, stress, effort, and time.

Darn weddings and their tendency to make people go over board just for a single day of their life. Yes, it is a very special day but what I want is time with friends and family, not time and money spent on things that are superficial and useless beyond that day.

In the past six months I have purchased 5 round-trip plane tickets. Sadly, despite these purchases, I’ve gone no where in the past six months. These tickets have been for the daughter, my mother, and now my sister. I’m used to buying tickets for my mom because she doesn’t have a credit/debit card and she sends me the money (usually right way, sometimes a couple weeks later). Obviously, I don’t mind buying tickets for the daughter, that’s a mother’s job — right? However, I’ve entered into new territory – I bought my sister a ticket so she could come to the wedding.

My sister struggles with money and managing money and I often have little sympathy for her. She waited until the last minute to get a ticket and was shocked at the high price. When she first asked if I could buy it and let her pay me back, I said no. I knew that the risk of not getting paid was too high and I wasn’t going to get sucked into that situation. Plus, I don’t use credit cards and all the money I spend comes directly from cash reserves, and with the wedding and the house, there isn’t much excess lying around.

However, the partner talked to me and got me to admit that I would really love to have her come out. He said he’d be willing to help buy the ticket if we could work something out. So, we found her a cheaper flight ($350 eeek — I paid $207 for my mom’s ticket last month) and I bought the ticket. But, with these conditions:

1. If she doesn’t pay, I will simply declare that it is a gift and not worry about it. I had to accept the fact that I know I probably won’t get paid for this and that it is more important to me to have her come out for the wedding than to worry about wether or not she paid me back.

2. She’ll send me $100 right away. This will help me feel more comfortable that she will indeed get on the plane and come out if she has spent cash on the ticket. She’ll then pay $100 from each paycheck until it is paid for.

Accepting that I just bought a ticket for her was the key point. I am now very excited that she will be coming and am not so concerned about the cash spent. Due to tax returns and such, it will not hurt me too much to lose the $300 on the ticket and so I can avoid worrying about that and just look forward to seeing her when she gets here.

However, I still feel that I should get some benefit out of all these plane tickets that I keep buying. Oh well!

We’re buying a house in a small town that is beyond “suburbia” and I’m in the process of finding a job. I’ve not had a lot of success finding anything that looks interesting and possible. I really don’t want to drive very far for work and that is the biggest challenge because we’re moving away from major employment areas. The partner will have a moderate commute to his job and isn’t looking forward to it. However, we are looking forward to the benefits of the town we’re moving into and the additional peace of mind it will give me as a haven away from the bustle of east coast living.

So, I just found a listing that is exactly what I’ve been saying I want to do since entering college. I mean, it is a perfect fit for my aspirations and I qualify for it and am very confident that I could get it. However, it is far away and the commute would be pretty intensive. Suddenly the partner’s commute looks a lot more manageable when we talk about the possibility of me commuting to Washington, DC.

Now, I’m all for public transportation and would usually say that is the best method, but where we live is beyond the major in-routes to DC and there is nothing near the house that I could use. It leaves me with having to drive to Frederick or driving to Columbia, each about a 30 minute drive with little traffic, just to start the public transportation route. Now, to drive into DC would be almost 50 miles and, if during rush hour, would easily take 90 minutes or more and I might be under estimating it.

Now, maybe I can modify my hours and do very early hours — like starting at 6:00am or so. Since the work I’d be doing is very individualized, that might be possible. However, I’m not sure if that will be possible. I worry that, if forced to travel during rush hour, that I may never be home. However, again, this is exactly what I’ve been looking for and thought that I’d never actually get to do. Also, I fear that the compensation will be lower than what I want. If I wasn’t needing to commute, I probably wouldn’t care, but if it is going to really hit the budget to get there every day — it might add up.

Sigh, I’m not going to talk myself out of applying, but it is bringing up a lot of questions and concerns. If you found your dream job in term of principals (money has never been my motivating job factor) would you be willing to drive to get there and see you family a little less? I feel a little silly about the issue because I am sure that there are people who commute further for a job that isn’t their dream job. However, traffic in the greater Washington, DC area is excruciating and I absolutely hate having to drive anywhere.

Dining Out: Argh! This is getting ridiculous. However, I realize that i totally dropped the ball on budgeting this month because I didn’t enter any expenditures until today. Not a good way to see where money was going. My mom was in town and we were getting a lot done on different projects and I just kept spending without thinking about it — including eating out. Now I’m really thinking about it.

Playa del Fuego: This was the cheapest PDF ever. Normally I end up buying all sorts of stuff but not this time. This time, I bought materials to make two logic puzzle game boards and everything I had on hand. It i s great being prepared for camping weekends and only needing to throw gear in the car and go.

Other: The house purchase and wedding purchases are picking up. I haven’t figured out how to work those things into my budget correctly because I try to keep money for and from those categories separate. However, I just listed it under special deposits. Also, my income tax return showed up in the additional income slot and I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with that. I know I went over budget by several hundred dollars, even though that is not obvious on the form because of the special deposits made.

I’m still feeling very behind on several things right now but trying to get finances back on track!